It’s no secret that I love my job and love all that has to do with industry 4.0 particularly, 3D printing https://lifeofadocpreneur.com/about/.
However, I cannot write about all these until I have offloaded the emotions of my last few months.
My Dad passed away 5 months ago.
For me, there were the initial tears. The truth is it was plenty of tears over many days followed by the brief, silly feeling of ‘That’s it, I have cried my last, no more tears”.
Such a lie!! I….. am….. still …..crying!!
Planning a funeral in Nigeria is a herculean task. An event planner saved me and my siblings. ( @70’s grill, Thank you❤️). In Nigeria, we are colourful, loud, and drink a cup of ‘Proud’ every morning. This comes through in everything we do; even in death.
My dad’s funeral spanned over 3 days. This is normal. Every tribe in Nigeria has a unique way of burying their loved ones. It is always a celebration of life for an elderly person who has achieved a lot in life.
I know (…Finding it difficult to use the word ‘knew’) him as my dad. However, after he passed, it became clear that he was a dad to many people both in his family and professional life. He was a retired chartered accountant and held the post of the Accountant-general of his state for many years. His passion was to teach and mentor young accountants who worked with him in the civil service in Edo state, Nigeria. He continued this even in retirement.
We had our moments of arguments that always ended amicably. He will thank me for everything I did. He will ask ‘why a voice call and not a video call’? I will reply “Dad I am busy, why do you want to see my face anyway”? After about 10minutes of chatting, I will eventually swap to a video call, which always met the response of “Ehen, I feel better now that I can see your face”. ☺️ (Ehen is a Nigerian exclamation word that takes on a different meaning depending on the context in which it is used)
He will pray and want to talk at length about everything. I am glad for my husband who was always willing to talk and listen to my dad. I was always so busy doing something. Right now, for the life of me, I cannot remember what that something was❗️
As I write this, I reflect on the relationship between my dad and me. He was stubborn and took no prisoners. Apples usually do not fall far from the tree😬!! BUT he did have a soft side.
Now, I miss all of him.
My mum fiercely fought her own battle; won and is alive. Witnessing the near-death experience of a parent gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘I miss you/ I love you. Subsequent hugs are longer and more precious. A telephone call is now more than a conversation
….and knowing that you will hear their voice again is a blessing.
I do remember telling my kids that I am proud of their achievements. I also, clearly remember my kids also telling me the same. Similarly, I pat myself on the back on the rare occasion to say ‘Girl, you did well’. However, in all that my Dad did and achieved, I can’t remember telling him that I was proud of him. This thought alone sends me into emotional overload and a hysterical flood of tears!! Don’t ask me why.
Perhaps, I feel I missed many opportunities.
I might not have said it in his lifetime, but I am saying it now: Dad, I am proud of you, and all that you achieved.
I miss you dearly. Much love now and always
To all my colleagues and everyone reading this blog who has lost a loved one, My sincere condolences. My hope is that the pain becomes easier and that we keep the memories of our departed in our hearts.❤️
